After spending the entire Easter homebound, am more than grateful when I hear the crunch of Dads RVR on the gravel and I rush out to meet them like a little girl. The car comes to a stop at the garage, mum sees me and turns and says something to Dad, and they both look towards me with a knowing smile. I can’t hear what he says back as the 80s classic they were listening to is still playing. Mum laughs out loud then climbs out to meet me.
“are you going to cry?” she asks in between giggles. Then I hug her and I feel like am actually going to cry.
“it was just a few days deb, what will happen when we go for a cruise?” dad asks.
‘you are going for a cruise?” I ask bewildered, that would be devastating news and I am feeling needy now, mum laughs out even louder.
“you should see the look on your face ,you are such a baby. my baby” she hugs me tighter.
Dad joins in the hug.
“She is still our baby Pam” dad says. I couldn’t feel more loved.
The orange ball of sunset looks beautiful so we decide to have an early pizza dinner at the patio. Dinner turns out to be me, listening to them reminisce about their trip and feeling like a third wheel. I really do not have a life, I should consider Alana’s suggestion to visit her down in Pretoria. Maybe that will give me time to think about what will happen if I don’t get the acceptance from Strathmore. I will also make a point of calling Sarah ,my best friend, I feel like I haven’t seen her in forever. But what about work?. A few months ago, if you had asked me to choose between working and traveling, I would do the later without even blinking. But then there is Nick to think about. Oh my God! Did I think that out loud?
My thoughts go back to Friday afternoon, he said my smile was beautiful. I remember the look of pure lust in his eyes, or at least in my head it was. I keep wondering if I had told him exactly what t I was thinking. Poor Guy would have heard a heart attack. But I wonder what would have happened then? Would he have swept me in his arms and covered my lips with his? Or he would have thought I was crazy? I was definitely crazy. Well, that remains a ‘what if?’ I didn’t realize I had been smiling foolishly till Ma snapped me out my reverie.
“Debby?” I almost jump when mum coaxes again for the umpteenth time.
“Where is your head girl, I have been calling you” she raises an eyebrow. I am hoping it’s a rhetorical question because I don’t have an answer.
“Let’s go inside its becoming chilly” we all get up. I put the pizza boxes in the kitchen and I excuse myself to my room.
By the time and done ironing my clothes for the week I am fully thinking about Nicklaus, and no, it’s nothing to do with work. I even picked out a few new outfits and I look forward to his reaction tomorrow. My 20-year-old mind is warped up in thinking the most sensual things about my boss. It’s the way he apologized for snapping at me on Friday as he drove me home. That finally did it. I have to caution myself that he is a family friend, he is much older than me. And there’s no way in hell he would ever look at me that way. Maybe he even sees me as his little sister. Eweee, no! We can’t think like that Deb. I am actually looking forward to work tomorrow. Am in so much trouble.
The next morning Mum says I can take her car since she is on leave, am over the moon because am meeting Sarah for coffee later and I don’t have to worry about how to get home. And because I am me, I change into black peep toe heels to go with my new red bod-con dress and black lapel jacket. My fresh braids are sitting on top of my head in a bun. Mums jaw is on the floor when I go to get the keys from her.
“Wow Debby” she sniffs, “look at you,We aren’t so little anymore ,Hhuh?” she looks like she is going to cry which leaves me confused.
“What do you think?” I ask.
“What you mean what do I think? You look amazing. Wait, where are you going?”
“To work, where else Mum”
When I get to Langata, I meet the ever smiling Otie at the gate, who only fuels my good mood by complimenting my new look. I park the car next to his Chevrolet, I put my heels on and say a little prayer not to wobble today. Damaris is in the kitchen flipping some yummy looking pancakes. When she hears my heels clacking on the floor She whips her head around a second then does a 360 turn to look at me. Now am feeling silly, Did I overdo it? I say hi but she stays mum then a smile starts to creep on her face.
“my girl, you look lovely. Wow wow wow “she turns to her now smoking pan “keep this look, I love it “
I say thank you and proceed to the office. I am feeling nervous because I dint know the kind of reaction I will get from Nicklaus. BE CONFIDENT. My alter ego admonishes. I put my stuff on my desk and walk over to Nicklaus’ office to say good morning. I knock and I hear a gruff in place of ‘come in’
I peek with my head and say good morning.
“Good morning miss Debra” he says still looking at his laptop. Ok we are back to Miss Debra.
“I think you should pick up where we left of with this manu……” he stops talking mid sentence when he looks up and his eyes settle on me. Now I am in that awkward place because his eyes are traveling down from my face to the rest of my body. Is he finally seeing me? Has the mud cleared from his eyes?. I feel some type of warmth traveling to my core under his gaze. When it doesn’t look he is going to say anything I make an attempt to clear my throat, but he doesn’t even blink. Oh boy you went too far girl. I walk forward towards his desk and point to the manuscript.
“ ummmmh , aaah” his eyes settle on my face.
“my God Debby, you, ……. wow! you look amazing” he says then lets out a loud sigh.
I chirrup an inaudible thank you, because my throat has suddenly dried up, my face feels hot and I feel a trickle of sweat building up on my back. His gaze settles on my gaze and I cannot decipher what he is thinking. I need to get out of here. I make a step forward to pick the manuscript so that I can run out of there as quickly as possible. In a quick motion, he grabs it and puts it opposite side of the desk. He then stands up and walks around the desk to where am standing. And just like that I know we will leave this room on first name basis. I am in so much trouble.